[465 Student's Eye] My Journey to Overcoming Job Preparation Challenges

   I often find myself feeling down, wondering, “Will I ever get a job?” It is easy to become anxious when I think about younger friends, people from better schools, or those with more impressive qualifications. Like many job seekers out there, I experience these common worries. Yet, despite these moments of anxiety, I am confident in saying that I know what fields I like, what my strengths are, and where I want to work. I can also say, with assurance, that I am slowly but happily working towards the future I dream of. With that said, I decided to write this post, hoping that my story could offer some encouragement to those like me, as well as juniors and seniors who may be feeling similarly about their job search.

   As I mentioned earlier, I started college later than most. I had to retake my entrance exams three times, and even then, I failed all three regular admissions attempts and six early admissions applications. Eventually, I got into Dongguk University through additional recruitment, long after the regular acceptance period had ended. The feeling of being left behind, the thought of failure, and the gap between my imagined college life and reality constantly weighed me down. At night, I was overwhelmed by a mixture of emotions: hatred, depression, anxiety, and more. Watching motivational YouTube videos or reading self-help books provided only temporary relief, but none of them solved my deep-seated problems.

   That is when I decided to start a conversation with myself. I began writing in Notion, attempting to identify the source of my feelings and asking myself “why.” For example, I asked myself questions like, “Why do I feel stressed about being behind others?” or “Am I not good enough to be in the top tier, and since I am older, do I even have enough time to catch up?” I also tried answering questions about which groups I want to be recognized by.

   Through these conversations with myself, I came to realize that I had been feeling anxious about things I had not even tried or understood. I had spent all my time studying for the college entrance exam, without ever really considering what skills I wanted to develop or what I truly wanted to do. Then, I started writing down the things I wanted to try, the things I found impressive, and the areas I wanted to explore. Since I was not particularly skilled at anything, I decided to work on something I loved long enough to build expertise. After this shift in mindset, my anxiety about being “too late” began to fade. 

   As I continued these conversations with myself, I also found ways to be happy, even amid the anxiety. I realized that what brings me positivity is not the outcome but the small decisions I make along the way. Scoring 96 on a math test did not make me happy. What made me happy was knowing that I did not make choices that hurt me, that I tried everything I wanted to, that I know myself better than anyone, that I have people to lean on when I am struggling, and that while I may not make my parents proud, I can still make them smile. As I captured these f leeting thoughts in writing, I gained the confidence that I could keep a positive mindset, even in the face of future failures.

   Lastly, I realized that the worries I had were not because I had failed, but simply because they are the common concerns everyone faces at a certain stage in life. A very smart friend of mine once confided in me about their job-related anxieties, and it was then that I understood everyone goes through these struggles. Even if I had attended a better university, there would always be someone better than me. Recognizing this helped me stop tying my personal worries to the idea of failure. 

   Though I have not secured a job yet, this is where my story ends for now. While my story may not teach you how to excel in your job search, I hope it offers some comfort during difficult times. I sincerely wish the best for all of you.